Letters of a Broken Heart

I'm sure you don't want to talk to me. I am the "psycho-ex" Why would you want to talk to someone who would remind you of all the fun we used to have. All the laughs we shared, the memories we created. Why would you want to do that?

I understand it would be awkward to see each other, but it hurts knowing that you told me you loved me then one day you didn't anymore. One day you decided you wanted to see other people; and you left me. You left me alone and cold, with no way to defend myself.

Walking through the city hurts me too much. I don't want to walk by your street, it reminds me of you; but I still drive by hoping I can catch a glimpse and see that you are happy. Hoping that you realize what you have done to me. You told me we needed a break, then that we wouldn't be getting back together, and then I see pictures of you and another girl laughing on your Facebook. How long were you seeing her without my knowledge before you decided you would give up about 3 years of happiness for a shot in the dark.?

Know what? I hope you fall in love with her. I hope she leads you on. And then I hope that someday she looks you dead in the eyes and tells you that you are not worth a thing to her. That she wants to date other people and never see you again. Until that happens to you, you will never know the pain and suffering I have gone through. Will never know how many nights I have stayed up crying over you and wishing I could go back in time, or that you had put some effort in to fix things. But you didn't want that.... You wanted the easy way out.

Know what? You made me not trust men anymore. You made me build a giant wall around my heart so no one could get in. You tagged it as your own, destroyed it, put a padlock on it and walked away. I can't fix my broken heart. I have tried. Nothing works.

Everyday I am filing away at that lock trying to get it open so I can clean up my life. Someday I'll either break through the lock or burn the place to the ground and start over.

It's been 6 months. I'm still a huge mess. The crying isn't as frequent, but the pain in my heart is.

I need someone to help hold it together while I slowly sew it back up.